【短片】John Cleese - on Extremism - from SDP-Liberal Alliance political broadcast 1987

關於極端主義的都在前面，後面真是當時政治廣播內容

連結

• 高解像度（但較短且算不完整）Youtube影片連結 - youtu.be/5mU5ef-zFyw

• 完整版（但低解像度）Youtube影片連結 - youtu.be/VKp7HDv01hk

Youtube影片

全部內容

Then, now follows a party political broadcast by the SDP Liberal Alliance.

Look, this isn't the first of the Python repeats, it's a party political, so I'll give you five seconds to switch over.
Okay, well, for anyone left, here's some Alliance propaganda.
Or, with me doing it, impropaganda.

So, let's have some jokes. Did you hear about the local council spokesman who said, "We have a policy of equal opportunity for people with criminal records?"
Then there was this local council that stopped its libraries from buying certain books, and what did they stop them buying? Fiction!
You know the council had fired some of her racist body language? Well, now, they've got over 100 teacher vacancies.
Don't worry though, to make up for that, they're planning to hire about 200 advisers on racial equality.
Talk to your teachers! Take Bromley council! Please!
A proportion of under five say educate? One percent!

Seriously though, we've heard a lot about extremism recently. A nastier, harsher atmosphere everywhere. More abuse and bother boy behaviour. Less friendliness and tolerance and respect for opponents.
Alright, but what we never hear about extremism is its advantages.
Well, the biggest advantage of extremism is that it makes you feel good. Because it provides you with enemies. Let me explain.
The great thing about having enemies is that you can pretend that all the badness in the whole world is in your enemies, and all the goodness in the whole world is in you.
Attractive, isn't it? So, if you have a lot of anger and resentment in you anyway, and you therefore enjoy abusing people, then you can pretend that you're only doing it because these enemies of yours are such very bad persons.
And that if it wasn't for them, you'd actually be good natured and courteous and rational all the time.

So, if you want to feel good, become an extremist. Okay.
Now you have a choice. If you join the hard left, they'll give you their list of authorised enemies.
Almost all kinds of authority, especially the police, the city, Americans, judges, multinational corporations, public schools, furriers, newspaper owners, fox hunters,
generals, class traitors, and, of course, moderates.
Or, if you'd rather be an extremist on the hard right, no problem, fine, you still get a lovely list of enemies, only they're different ones.
Noisy minority groups, unions, Russia, weirdos, demonstrators, welfare sponges, meddlesome clergy, peaceniks, the BBC, strikers, social workers, communists, and, of course, moderates.
And, upstart actors.

Now, once you're armed with one of these super lists of enemies, you can be as nasty as you like, and yet feel your behaviours morally justified. So, you can strut around abusing people and telling them you could eat them for breakfast, and still think of yourself as a champion of the truth, a fighter for the greater good, and not the rather sad paranoid schizoid that you really are.

（旁白）好的，以下是SDP自由聯盟的黨派政治宣傳內容。

這不是Python系列的重播，而是一段黨派政治宣傳。如果您不喜歡，請在五秒後切換頻道。好吧，對於那些還留下來的人，這裡有一些自由聯盟的宣傳。或者，讓我來即興表演一段宣傳。

那麼，讓我們來開個玩笑吧。你聽說了嗎？當地的市議會發言人說：「我們對有犯罪記錄的人實行平等的機會政策。」還有一個地方市議會停止了圖書館購買某些書籍，他們阻止購買的是什麼？小說！你知道嗎？這個市議會解僱了一位因為種族歧視的肢體語言而被批評的人。現在，他們有超過100個教師職位空缺。不過不用擔心，為了彌補這一點，他們計劃聘請約200名種族平等顧問。和你的老師聊聊吧！看看布羅姆利市議會怎麼樣！拜託了！有多少五歲以下的孩子說「教育」？百分之一！

（短片開始位置）

說真的，最近我們聽到了很多關於極端主義的報導。到處都瀰漫著一種更糟糕、更嚴厲的氣氛。更多的辱罵和不當行為。更少的友善、寬容以及對對手的尊重。但是，我們從未聽到關於極端主義的好處是什麼。好吧，極端主義最大的好處是它能讓你感覺良好。因為它會給你提供敵人。讓我解釋一下。擁有敵人的好處是，你可以假裝世界上所有的壞事都存在於你的敵人身上，而世界上所有的美好都存在於你身上。是不是很吸引人？所以，如果你本身就有很多憤怒和怨恨，並且因此享受辱罵他人，那麼你可以假裝你只是因為你的這些敵人是非常糟糕的人才這樣做。而且，如果你沒有他們，你實際上會是一個善良、有禮貌和理性的好人。

所以，如果你想感覺良好，那就成為一個極端主義者。好了。現在你有選擇了。如果你加入左翼，他們會給你一份授權的敵人名單。幾乎所有種類的權威，尤其是警察、政府、美國人、法官、跨國公司、公立學校、皮草商、報紙老闆、獵狐者、將軍、階級叛徒，以及當然是溫和派。或者，如果你更想成為右翼的極端主義者，沒問題，很好，你仍然可以獲得一份漂亮的敵人名單，只是他們是不同的。吵鬧的小眾群體、工會、俄羅斯、怪人、示威者、福利騙子、干涉的牧師、和平主義者、英國廣播公司、罷工者、社工、共產黨員，以及當然是溫和派。還有，新興的演員。

一旦你掌握了這些「超級敵人名單」，你可以肆無忌憚地對人進行攻擊，但仍然覺得你的行為在道德上是正當的。所以，你可以趾高氣昂地辱罵別人，告訴他們你甚至可以把他們吃掉，但仍然認為自己是真理的捍衛者、偉大事業的鬥士，而不是一個真正悲慘、偏執和精神分裂的人。

（短片結束位置）

And all this explains what we've seen at party conferences. Everyone's sitting there, looking grim and bored, and then a speaker gets up with real fire in his belly, as well as dyspepsia, and he says, "The other party really are the most awful bunch of rotters, the most left-wing or right-wing bunch there's ever been in this great country of ours, and it would be a disaster if they ever got into power, or held on to power. That's all we must get into power, or hold on to power, but there's going to be a tremendous fight, a terrific struggle, and we can't relax and enjoy ourselves. No! We must struggle, and fight, and fight, and struggle, and struggle, and struggle, and fight, and fight against these enemies, and then struggle a little bit more at the end of that."

And then the speaker goes and sits down, and there's a lovely warm glow throughout the hall, as if they'd all had tea and crumpets, and everyone looks relaxed and happy and simply radiant with goodwill. Although, if the speaker had said, "We must all have lots of fun, and be nice to each other, and cooperate in solving problems," they'd probably have lynched him, or deselected him, or taken all his directorships away. Because attacking our enemies always makes us feel good, and excited. In fact, just about the only disadvantage to extremism is that it can never solve problems. Solving problems is a real bore compared with healing victory, and swearing to smash capitalism, and crush socialism, and generally feeling good. I mean, solving problems involves frustrating things like listening to people with different views, and learning from them. Which, of course, breaks the first rule of British politics. No other party's ideas are any good.

There. The other irritating thing about solving problems is, if the solutions are going to work, they've got to be fair. Well, ask any businessman, he'll tell you a good deal is one both sides can accept. If not, it won't work. But this means that you've got to be fair and balanced, and that breaks the second rule of British politics. Parties represent special interest groups. How can Labour reform the unions when the unions give them 90% of their income? Of course the Tories will reform the unions, but they'll allow self-regulation for the city of London, which gives them a lot of their money.

It's a giggle, isn't it? And these two rules are exactly why so many of our problems are not being solved. Because the old British system has been the seesaw. First Labour, then the Tories. The continuity of planning, from nationalisation, to denationalisation, to re-nationalisation, to privatisation. And the rest of the time producing those farmyard noises we all know and love from Prime Minister's question time.

這一切都解釋了我們在黨派會議上看到的景象。每個人都坐在那裡，面色陰沉、無聊，然後一位演講者站起來，充滿激情（以及消化不良），他說：「另一方政黨真的是一羣最糟糕的傢伙，是這個偉大國家出現過的最左傾或最右傾的一羣人，如果他們曾經掌握權力，或者繼續掌握權力，那將是一場災難。我們必須掌握權力，或者繼續掌握權力，但這將會是一場巨大的鬥爭，一場可怕的戰鬥，我們不能放鬆和享受自己。不！我們必須奮鬥、拼搏、拼搏、奮鬥、奮鬥、奮鬥、拼搏、與這些敵人作鬥爭，然後在最後再奮鬥一下。」

然後，演講者坐下來，整個會場都瀰漫著一種溫暖的光芒，彷彿他們都喝了茶和司康餅，每個人看起來都很放鬆、快樂，並且充滿善意。然而，如果演講者說：「我們都應該玩得開心，對彼此友善，並合作解決問題」，他們可能會被吊死，或者取消他們的資格，或者奪走他們所有的董事職位。因為攻擊我們的敵人總是讓我們感覺良好和興奮。事實上，極端主義的唯一缺點是它永遠無法解決問題。與「勝利」相比，解決問題非常無聊，而且還不如宣誓要摧毀資本主義、鎮壓社會主義，以及總之感覺良好。
我的意思是，解決問題涉及到令人沮喪的事情，比如傾聽那些有不同觀點的人，並從他們那裡學習。這當然違反了英國政治的第一條規則：其他政黨的任何想法都不好。

還有，解決問題的另一個令人煩惱的地方是，如果這些解決方案要奏效，它們必須是公平的。好吧，問任何一位商人，他會告訴你一項好的協議是雙方都能接受的。如果不是這樣，它就無法奏效。但這意味著你必須做到公平和公正，這違反了英國政治的第二條規則。政黨代表特殊的利益集團。工黨如何改革工會，而工會為他們提供了 90% 的收入？當然，保守黨會改革工會，但他們將允許倫敦金融城進行自我監管，而倫敦金融城為他們提供了很多資金。

這真是太好笑了，不是嗎？這兩條規則正是導致我們許多問題沒有得到解決的原因。因為舊的英國體制就像一個蹺蹺板。先是工黨，然後是保守黨。從國有化到私有化再到再次國有化，再到私有化的持續規劃。以及其他時候，我們會聽到所有人都知道和喜愛的那種「農場動物」聲音，那是首相質詢時間發出的聲音。

Well, the Alliance is going to change these rules.
First, we'll use good ideas wherever they come from. And we'll say when we agree with other parties.
We agree with the Tories that we shouldn't disarm unilaterally, although we don't think we need to buy Trident.
We agree with Labour about the need to increase public spending to reduce unemployment and to salvage the National Health Service.
We agree with the Tories about the need for profitable industry and to encourage enterprise, although we want to share the profits around them all.
And we agree with Labour on the need to invest in education, although we will pay more attention to raising standards.
Second, we'll try to be fair and balanced between capital and Labour, workers and management.
After all, we are not owned or funded by the unions or big business.
And also, we'll try to get the balance right between being tough and being tender.
Finally, in a balanced Parliament, the SDP, Liberal Alliance, is ready to work with either of the other parties.
Of course, the Tories and Labour say they won't work with us. Well, no surprise. They like the seesaw.
And the only thing they've agreed on in the last five years is they don't like us coming in and breaking up their private little power game.
But, if you want to end the seesaw, if you want balance and cooperation, please support the Alliance at the next election.
And not just at the general election, but at the local elections on May the 7th.

Alright, time for more local council jokes. Do you know what flag the Hammersmith Town Hall was flying recently?
And here's the hall in Scarborough, where the local Tory council banned a conference. The reason? The people going were gay!
Oh!
And here's Dundee's Town Hall in 1980. Recognise the flag? No? Well, it's the PLOs.
Now, here's how the Alliance would get rid of extremist councils. A simple answer:

Yes, it's dear old proportional representation again.
Now, the effect of introducing PR on extremist councils would be...
Happiness, because PR stops that kind of thing at a stroke.
So, if you want to get rid of extremism in local government, vote for the SDP Liberal Alliance on May the 7th.
and add to the number of councils where the Alliance is either already in power or shares control.
not bad, eh?
and if you can find one extremist action from that lot, I'll buy you dinner.
and just to cheer you up, as you won't be getting dinner, the number of Liberal and Social Democrat councillors in 1977, 900.
and 1982, 1900, and 1986, 3000.
looks as though the time's come.
and the number of times come.
and want to see an end to seesaw politics, please call 0800 400 400.
that's 0800 400 400.
or write to Dr. David Owen, the SDP, Free Post, London SW1P 3BR.
that was a party political broadcast by the SDP Liberal Alliance, and it'll be shown again at 20 past 10 on BBC 2.

聯盟將改變這些規則。首先，我們將使用來自任何地方的好主意，並在我們同意其他政黨的觀點時會明確表示。我們與保守黨一致，即不應單方面解除軍備，儘管我們認為我們不需要購買三叉戟導彈。我們與工黨一致，認為有必要增加公共支出以減少失業和挽救國民保健服務。我們與保守黨一致，認為需要發展盈利產業並鼓勵企業家精神，但我們希望將這些利潤分享給所有人。我們與工黨一致，認為有必要投資於教育，儘管我們會更加關注提高標準。其次，我們將努力在資本和勞動、工人與管理之間實現公平和平衡。畢竟，我們不隸屬於任何工會或大型企業，也不接受它們的資助。此外，我們還將努力在強硬和溫和之間取得平衡。最後，在一個平衡的議會中，社會民主黨和自由聯盟已準備好與其他兩黨中的任何一黨合作。當然，保守黨和工黨都說他們不會與我們合作。毫無驚訝。他們喜歡蹺蹺板。他們在過去五年裡唯一一致的觀點是，他們不希望我們介入並打破他們的私人權力遊戲。但是，如果您想結束蹺蹺板政治，如果您想要平衡和合作，請在下次選舉中支援聯盟。不僅僅是在總體大選上，還要在 5 月 7 日舉行的地方選舉上。

好了，是時候講更多關於地方議會的笑話了。你知道最近哈默史密斯市政廳掛的是什麼旗嗎？這裡的照片是斯卡伯勒市政廳，當地的保守黨議會禁止了一次會議。原因是什麼？參加的人都是同性戀者！哦！這是 1980 年的鄧迪市政廳。你認出那面旗了嗎？沒有？好吧，那是巴勒斯坦解放組織（PLO）的旗幟。現在，以下是聯盟如何擺脫極端主義議會的方法：一個簡單的答案：

是的，又是我們熟悉的比例代表制。引入比例代表制對極端主義議會的影響將是……快樂，因為比例代表制可以立即阻止這種情況發生。因此，如果您想消除地方政府中的極端主義，請在 5 月 7 日投票支援社會民主黨和自由聯盟。並增加聯盟已經執政或共同控制的議會數量。不錯吧？如果您能找到他們中的任何一個進行過極端主義行為，我將請您吃飯。而且為了讓您開心（因為您可能不會得到晚餐），1977 年社會民主黨和自由黨議員的人數是 900 人。到 1982 年是 1900 人，到 1986 年是 3000 人。看來時機到了。而且機會也到了。如果您想結束蹺蹺板政治，請致電 0800 400 400。電話號碼是 0800 400 400。或者寫信給社會民主黨的戴維·歐文博士，地址是 Free Post, London SW1P 3BR。這是一段由社會民主黨和自由聯盟發布的政治宣傳片，它將在 BBC 2 上於晚上 8:20 再次播放。