從自我的理解中找到更好的自己

我自己總是在跟自己較勁，什麼都是希望最美好的樣子，後來自己出門後就發現，沒有完美的任何身分價值，只有自己的人生改正了多少方向機遇有沒真的去做到讓自己不後悔，又部會一直對身心靈的自我太壓抑，最後失去了你的初心。

之前在追逐偶像跟明星藝人的時候，我們總是對他們抱持太多期望，這些恰恰是也是一種你對自己的期望投射，為什麼我們總是自己扛，覺得被幫助的自己是渺小的一方。就在於你最自我的期望價值過度高出現在的你能承受的力度，我們總是各種期待被認可被接受、甚至被接納。霸凌，欺壓，甚至跟別人呼吸同一片空氣，人都過度依指著名利，成功甚至累積福德的自己都有可能成為那一個傷害自己的刺，刺骨的身心靈給我們多少壓力不自在痛苦，只有自己先去察覺又願意去改變的人才能做到，原來沒有人在影響著自己，自己才是那個最大惡源，因為是自我造作，不是別人去觸動了你的甚麼身心，當局者迷，旁觀者清。

最後給看到這篇文章後下定決心要出發改變的自己說一句，你的努力不一定是能真實碰到自我實現，但會在個世界決定讓你成為這一切的起點一定會有你的價值的一天。

I have always been competing with myself, hoping that everything could become its most beautiful version. But after stepping out into the world on my own, I realized something — there is no such thing as a perfect identity or flawless sense of worth. What truly matters is how many directions in life I have corrected, how many opportunities I have genuinely seized so that I can live without regret, and whether I have allowed myself to breathe instead of constantly suppressing my mind, body, and spirit until I lose my original intention.

When we were chasing idols and celebrities, we often placed countless expectations on them. Yet those expectations were, in fact, projections of what we demanded from ourselves. Why do we always feel that we must carry everything alone, believing that accepting help somehow makes us small? It is because our self-imposed standards are often far beyond what our present selves can bear. We long to be recognized, accepted, and embraced.

Bullying, oppression, even simply sharing the same air with others — people become overly attached to fame, success, or even the accumulation of virtue. Ironically, the version of ourselves that strives for these things can also become the very thorn that wounds us. The piercing pressure upon our mind, body, and spirit — the discomfort and pain — can only be understood and transformed by the one who is willing to become aware and change. In the end, we realize that no one else is truly controlling us. We ourselves can become the greatest source of harm, because it is our own inner constructions that create suffering. It is not others who trigger our pain — it is our attachment and perception. When you are inside the situation, you are confused; when you step back, clarity appears.

And to the version of myself who, after reading this, decides to set out and change — remember this: your efforts may not immediately lead you to self-actualization, but they will become the starting point of everything you are meant to become in this world. One day, your existence will carry its own undeniable value.