The Eternal Frenemies: Ukraine and Russia’s NATO Saga

In every social circle, there’s always that pair of frenemies—constantly bickering, occasionally throwing a punch or two, yet inseparable. Ukraine and Russia, affectionately dubbed “Big Mao” and “Little Mao,” fit this mold perfectly. Their latest spat? Ukraine’s fervent desire to join NATO, the elite “group chat” of nations. Russia, acting like the chat admin, waves its “block” privilege, adamantly denying entry. This isn’t a new drama; it’s a millennia-old series of sequels. Let’s delve into this saga and uncover the roots of their familial feud.

1. From Kievan Rus’ to Chatroom Schism: The Genesis of Discord

The tale begins in the 9th century with Kievan Rus’, a grand “group chat” encompassing ancestors of Ukrainians, Russians, and Belarusians. Kyiv was the “admin,” boasting top-tier culture, economy, and religion—a veritable “full-signal Wi-Fi” of Eastern Slavs. But the 13th-century Mongol invasion “forcefully disbanded” this chat, leading each member to go solo.

Russia’s “Grand Duchy of Moscow” rose, claiming to be Kievan Rus’ rightful heir, akin to someone insisting on being the new admin post-chat dissolution. Ukraine, meanwhile, fell under Lithuanian and Polish influence, adopting Western “filters” in religion and culture, drifting from Russia. In the 17th century, Ukrainian Cossack leader Khmelnytsky rebelled, signing the 1654 Pereyaslav Agreement, aligning with Russia. Ostensibly “joining the chat,” it felt more like being added to a restricted sub-group.

This sowed seeds of resentment: Ukraine felt “coerced into the chat,” while Russia believed, “You’re my little brother; you can’t leave.” As the ancient Chinese saying goes, “Brothers may quarrel within walls,” and this wall has stood for centuries.

2. Imperial Era Admin Wars: Who Leads the Eastern Slavs?

By the 18th century, the Russian Empire flourished. Peter the Great and Catherine the Great expanded its reach, absorbing much of Ukraine. Russia saw itself as the “admin,” with Ukraine as a mere “member” expected to comply. Ukrainians, however, resisted—different culture, language, customs—why be subjugated? This sentiment ignited in the 19th-century Ukrainian literary revival, with poet Shevchenko proclaiming, “We’re not little brothers; we have our own ID!”

Post the early 20th-century fall of Tsarist Russia, Ukraine briefly established the Ukrainian People’s Republic (1917–1920), a short-lived “independent chat,” before being absorbed into the Soviet “supergroup.” During the USSR era, Ukraine was forcibly integrated into the “socialist family.” Surface-level unity masked deep-seated tensions. The 1932–1933 Holodomor famine claimed millions of Ukrainian lives, perceived by many as a deliberate Soviet “member purge.” This left a lasting scar, still evoking anguish today.

3. NATO’s Group Chat Application: Little Mao’s Ambition vs. Big Mao’s Fury

Following the USSR’s dissolution, Ukraine and Russia “left the chat,” establishing their own accounts. Initially, Ukraine aimed for neutrality, even signing the 1994 Budapest Memorandum, relinquishing nuclear arms for security assurances. Yet, Russia’s “admin complex” persisted, viewing Ukraine as perpetually within its sphere.

The 2004 Orange Revolution saw Ukrainians rallying for NATO membership, ousting pro-Russian Yanukovych. Russia, alarmed, acted in 2014—annexing Crimea and backing pro-Russian forces in Eastern Ukraine. Ukraine’s NATO aspirations intensified, with the alliance conducting joint exercises and providing equipment, signaling a warm welcome.

But Russia wouldn’t have it. Putin declared, “NATO’s eastward expansion is like building a signal tower at my doorstep!” In February 2022, Russia launched a “special military operation,” ostensibly to protect Russian-speaking populations, but effectively to block Ukraine’s NATO entry. By 2025, the conflict has become a protracted war: Ukraine, bolstered by Western aid, holds key territories; Russia, under sanctions and battlefield stalemates, appears to be losing its “admin aura.”

4. Historical Echoes: A Modern Wu-Yue Rivalry

The Ukraine-Russia feud mirrors China’s Spring and Autumn period’s Wu-Yue rivalry. Wu (Russia) saw itself as dominant; Yue (Ukraine) sought independence, aligning with Chu (NATO) for support. Wu’s King Fuchai, enraged, aimed to crush Yue, only to be ensnared himself. Sun Tzu’s “Art of War” advises, “Subdue the enemy without fighting.” NATO employs this strategy, using sanctions and aid to entangle Russia, leading it to self-destruct.

Consider Shakespeare’s “Romeo and Juliet”: two feuding families, lovers caught in the crossfire. Ukraine and Russia, bound by historical grievances, resemble these star-crossed lovers. Ukraine seeks its “Romeo” in NATO; Russia, the Capulet patriarch, clings to old orders.

5. Current Dynamics: The Next Chapter in the Chatroom Drama

By 2025, the Russia-Ukraine conflict has shifted from “hot war” to “war of attrition.” Ukraine, with NATO’s “sponsorship,” maintains control over key “servers” like Kyiv and Kharkiv but faces economic collapse and daunting reconstruction. Russia, though lacking significant military gains, leverages its energy resources and sustains domestic support through nationalism. NATO members exhibit “chat fatigue”: the U.S. is preoccupied with elections; Europe fears energy crises; enthusiasm for aiding Ukraine wanes.

Ukraine’s “chat application” remains pending—NATO hesitates to approve yet can’t outright reject. Russia, the obsessive admin, would rather “go offline” than let Ukraine “change its ID.”

6. Conclusion: From ‘Block’ to ‘Reconcile’—How Far Is the Journey?

The Ukraine-Russia saga resembles an exhaustive “chat history,” filled with fiery exchanges. From Kievan Rus’ golden age to the Soviet “forced chat,” and now the NATO membership drama, history teaches: fraternal conflicts lead to mutual harm. As Laozi said, “Governing a large state is like cooking a small fish.” If Russia desires to be the “admin,” it must learn to let go; Ukraine, eager to join, must assess if it can abide by the “chat rules.”

Frankly, NATO isn’t a utopia. Ukraine’s desperate bid may not guarantee “full-signal Wi-Fi.” Russia, clinging to its admin status, risks relegating itself to “offline mode.” Perhaps it’s time for Big Mao and Little Mao to share a vodka, revisit their “chat history,” and rekindle their brotherly bond. After all, as Shakespeare aptly put it, “What’s past is prologue.” This “chatroom drama” might just have more twists ahead!