爺孫戀磕得飛起，姐弟戀亞男女破坊。

Jules Vela
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IPFS
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因為他是「長得還行的男性」，就足以成為攻擊陈妍希的理由。

All Rights Reserved© 2025 Jules Vela

最近有一部由陳妍熙主演的電視劇《狙擊蝴蝶》正在熱播，因此在各種短視頻平台上，宣傳、切片與話題鋪天蓋地，引發了廣泛討論。在部分女性「甜甜甜、我要當富婆」的玩笑式狂歡之外，更刺眼的是：大量男性與女性正在對陳妍熙進行集中羞辱——嘲諷她年紀大、狀態差，甚至刷屏式地使用「台灣公交車」這類極端厭女、物化女性的侮辱性語言。諷刺的是，陳妍熙本身又美、又富、又是高學歷、履歷接近滿分的女性；而她的前夫，僅僅因為是男性，無論做過什麼，仍然可以持續獲得大量女性的同情與「他也不容易」。
那麼問題來了：為什麼在《狙擊蝴蝶》這部劇下，會出現如此瘋狂、密集的辱罵？

答案其實非常赤裸——因為這是一部姐弟戀。

男主出身農村，沒有錢讀書，初遇女主時只有17歲；女主當時剛離婚，是他的資助者。兩人相差10歲，而且真正走到一起，是在多年之後。真正讓這些男男女女「破防」的，從來不是劇情倫理，而是這個事實：女主有錢、有貌、是企業千金，但她離婚了，還比男主大10歲。
這一點，精準地擊中了東亞父權文化最不能被觸碰的神經。現實中，陳妍熙42歲，男演員23歲，年齡差接近19歲，於是引爆了更大規模的討論。就算《狙擊蝴蝶》中的女主岑矜是超級白富美，是婚姻中的受害者，是在男主最需要成長的路上一路提供資源與幫助的人，她依然必須因為「年齡」被拉出來公開討伐。那他們到底在不爽什麼？他們不爽的，從來不是愛情，而是女性站上了權力與資源的上位。他們不爽，一個離婚的女人居然還擁有選擇權。他們不爽，為什麼施予者、導師、拯救者不是「正常的男性」。他們不爽，為什麼女主不是更年輕的、被選中的、被男人改造與命令的那一個。所以，當一個42歲的女性演員——即便她看起來依然年輕、水嫩、專業——因為她離婚了、年紀大了，卻站在鏡頭中心，與一個21歲的男性建立情感張力時，她就被判定為「越界」。社會真正不悅的，是女性站上資源高位、掌握選擇權，而非愛情本身。

那麼，那些同樣瘋狂羞辱陳妍熙的女性，又是在做什麼？其中一部分，是夾雜著雌競與嫉妒：她們無法接受，一個「年紀大、離過婚」的女人，居然能和年輕帥哥拍姐弟戀。
另一部分，是結構性的厭女——僅僅因為對方是女性，就必須比一比、挑一挑、踩一踩。這在東亞文化中，早已是日常操作。還有一類，是毫無底線的「愛男護男」：即便這位新人男演員無論名氣、資歷、表演成熟度，都遠不如陳妍熙，甚至演技多次顯得尷尬，但只因為他是「長得還行的男性」，就足以成為攻擊女性的理由。

爺孫戀磕得飛起，姐弟戀卻讓東亞男女集體破防。這背後真正的問題是：為什麼在許多東亞文化語境中，男性與女性之間的「爺孫戀」被視為正常、浪漫，甚至值得歌頌；而女性年長、男性年幼的姐弟戀，卻被描述為怪異、不舒服、甚至噁心？原因並不複雜。對許多東亞男性與女性而言，他們必須維持一套穩定的性別秩序：年輕女性必須被男性「向下選擇」；女性的青春、時間、身體與能力，必須被男性長期壟斷與管理。我們現在習慣把這種狀態稱為「內化了東亞父權」，但如果說得更直白一點，那就是——尚未脫離奴性，也尚未覺醒女性主體意識。如果我們真的回頭檢視那些被大量存在、甚至被合理化的「爺孫戀」，就會看見一整套東亞文化中的性別恐怖結構。被中國人辱罵了幾百年的潘金蓮，在被人口買賣、強行嫁給武大郎時，只有十幾歲；而又老、又醜、又具有強奸事實的武大郎，當時已經三十多歲。潘金蓮因為反抗強奸與人口買賣，被定義為「淫婦」「毒婦」，直到2025年女性主義意識開始真正進入公共討論場域，風向才出現明顯鬆動。歷史上的大玉兒（布木布泰，1625年出生），約12歲嫁給了32歲的皇太極。彈鋼琴的劉詩昆，在81歲時與44歲的妻子孫穎又生下一名女兒，兩人相差37歲。李敖48歲時與18歲的王志慧在一起，年齡差30歲，李敖甚至比王志慧的父親還年長。外貌與權力極不對等的李敖，44歲時迎娶26歲的大美女胡因夢，年齡差18歲。51歲的唐明皇，強行奪取並強奸17歲的楊貴妃，兩人年齡差34歲；即便唐明皇最終為了自身權力犧牲並殺害楊貴妃，這段關係仍被書寫為「千古愛情」。直到今天，西安仍然有《長恨歌》這樣的大型舞台劇，持續歌頌這種建立在強迫與強奸之上的性別暴力，把它包裝成浪漫敘事。這不是個別事件，而是一條清晰的文化邏輯：只要權力在男性手中，年齡差、強奸、強迫、買賣，都可以被洗白成「愛情」；而只要女性站上主導位置，哪怕是合法、成年、互相選擇的關係，也會被污名化為噁心與越界。

而古詩中一句「一樹梨花壓海棠」，本質上是一個高度暴力卻被美學徹底洗白的隱喻結構。它把又老、又卑劣、又掌握絕對權力的男性，比作一整棵盛放的梨花樹；卻把僅有十八歲、被迫進入性關係的女性，比作一朵被壓在樹下的海棠。在這個比喻中，白髮蒼蒼、年近八十、具有戀童與買賣婦女行為的男人，被形容成「高大」「美麗」「滿樹梨花」。
而那位被迫成為小妾的十八歲女性，被描繪為一朵柔弱、沉默、理所當然被覆蓋的海棠花。這不是詩意，這是犯罪的美學包裝。這句詩的真正功能，是把男性的卑劣、齷齪與性暴力，轉譯成可以被欣賞的畫面。在這句詩詞所對應的真實故事中，那位年輕貌美的小妾，並不是戀愛中的主體，而是像物件一樣，被迫交付給一位八十歲老男人的性財產。她沒有選擇權，她的意願沒有被詢問，她的身體被當作交易完成的一部分。然而，一群詩人卻為此寫詩、記錄、讚美。因為在父權敘事中，這被視為一件「喜事」。女人願不願意不重要，只要男人高興，這段關係就可以被定義為美好。這種結構並非中國獨有。日本的《源氏物語》，同樣以「風雅」「情感」「命運」之名，長期、美學化地美化亂倫、戀童與性侵。

而到了2025年的東亞社會，這套邏輯依然存活，仍然充滿大量爺孫戀的男性現實案例與網路故事，並被不斷合理化、浪漫化、去罪化。出生於1922年的楊振寧，於2004年與翁帆結婚。
他在前妻去世僅一年後，迎娶了比自己小五十四歲的翁帆。這段關係，在公共輿論中長期被包裝為「真愛」與「佳話」。小說《洛麗塔》則更進一步，把一個老年男性的戀童癖與性剝削，包裝成一部所謂的經典文學。三十八歲的亨伯特，被描寫為「愛上」十二歲的洛麗斯。而現實中的原型女孩，十七歲時因難產死亡，死於1952年的聖誕節。電影《情人》中，
十五歲的法國少女，被描述為與二十七歲的法國富商「戀愛」，年齡差十二歲。而出演這個角色的女演員，拍攝時也只有十七歲。這些故事的共通點只有一個：男性的慾望被敘事保護，女性的身體被敘事吞沒。

東亞真是一個非常神奇的土地。這個男的像爺爺年紀一樣大，但是這個女的沒成年。這樣的故事叫做浪漫愛情，包括《原事物語》中的原事光和他的許多戀人。戀人之間的關係也往往是未成年人。甚至光源氏在書中5次亂倫，一個女作者卻在無限的美化她筆下的這位戀童癖強姦犯。世界稱這個為童婚，但其實這是一個父權至上的毒瘤。之前還有一個非常有名的案例，一個男性在網路上講述一個「13歲女人勾引欺騙我的40歲大舅」的故事，想要找人幫忙看看怎麼懲罰這個13歲女人。然後你們也不要忘了，就是《權力的遊戲》中的農母結婚的時候，在原著中懷孕的時候，她還是個未成年人。但是這個西方的觀眾，他也一樣在銀幕上對著這對同婚戀，磕得磕生磕死啊。更不要說這個馬王，他是個保君，因為我們可以在書裡也好，電影裡也好，都能看到他們作為游牧民族，對於任何地方的侵略、燒殺搶掠、強姦都是覺得理所當然的。 當然，有人可能會以這是歷史事件來作為遮蓋，但不管是不是歷史，你可以看到這些讀者也好，觀眾也好，他們是可以接受在父權世界中的童婚的，他們接受得非常良好。當我們讚美東亞爺孫戀的時候，我們到底在讚美甚麼？讚美男性永遠不需要為他們對待女性的犯罪而感到羞恥。讚美他們永遠不需要為了傷害女性而付出代價。男人可以老，醜，暴力，貪婪，無恥，但是女人必須年輕，順從，沉默。任何企圖更改這個規則的就被這些東亞男女稱為噁心怪異不自然丟臉。東亞長期正常化浪漫化美化強暴誘姦以及爺孫師生戀到了2025年也依然如此，更可怕的是很多寫類似小說的還是女性。這直接導致現實中的東亞女性也像下餃子依舊絡繹不絕的，一個接一個的狠狠的摔在無底線美化男性罪惡的坑里。可以簡單理解為，因為這個瘋狗咬人太普遍了，所以其他人就把瘋狗咬人當成了一個正常的事情處理。而這個人去反抗這個瘋狗咬人，或者說人拿這個棍子去打狗，因為太罕見了，就變成了不舒適、不正常、怪異、噁心。

而東亞未成年女性被年長親屬和男性性侵的案例在東亞更是猖獗。 2025年3月還有福建政和縣的6個月女嬰被同村親戚堂叔男子徐海以帶侄女玩為由帶走，下體二級傷害。許海平時被村民認為“老實巴交”，只被判5年刑期。 2025年還有大量的猥褻偷拍女童的，也就是拘禁15天，很多時候警情通報會寫女孩未受傷，然後就沒有然後了，所以犯罪者一樣很多。 2018年福建人陳香蓮兩年拐賣兒童46人，判處10年1個月有期徒刑。但要注意，這位陳香蓮女士，她只是負責下手騙走孩子的，她還有上線。拐賣兒童的手段還在一直升級。 2025年34歲男子在高鐵都能公開猥褻7歲女童，還說她這麼小有什麼關係。而bbc中文網2013年更有報道，中國廣東省三年來最少2500名女童遭到性侵。而且一線城市的許多性侵害還能取保候審，非一線城市更不必說。 。 2025年各種電商平台還能訂購各種兒童色情特徵的矽膠娃娃，惠州和東莞有大量的生產車間。 2025年也只是喊著要監管，提倡刑事處罰而不是真正的刑事處罰。從2020年到2025年，隨著網路直播的興起，郭律師和龍飛律師等律師的直播連線得到了追捧，大量男性在連線做律師諮詢的時候，把性侵倒轉成未成年誘惑。律師們一般不會立刻打斷，而是理性分析法律責任，由於匿名且廉價，這些男性為了得到確切的懲罰可能，並不會太隱瞞自己的犯罪過程。本來是一件解開被藏匿的犯罪事實，修改監督法律執行力度的好事，但是這些音頻視頻很快就被全平台刪除消失。相關的文章討論截圖也會消失。但也還是會有一些漏網之魚，可以找到，但可悲的是還有女性去聯繫律師，幫自己的強姦犯弟弟脫罪，說飯局上弟弟喝酒，然後剛剛認識的女性銷售，主動聯繫主動勾引主動脫衣服然後報警強姦。她自己都說女性以及爛醉如泥沒有意識，她也說這個女性是主動的是勾引。他弟弟還有老婆。她覺得弟弟很可憐，被一個很裝的女的害了。四個男性叫了一個賣啤酒的23個小姐姐，四個男性強制猥褻，內容非常下流，但是因為該女性是賣酒的，這個連線的男性就認為是這個女性故意陷害。四個人一起輔助侵犯這個女性，他們卻認為這個女的故意陷害。但因為律師卻說可以做無罪辯護，也可以拿到諒解書。在東亞可以找到大量性侵幼女的真實案例。連線的人因為覺得這些事情很正常，所以他們論述事件的語言都是比較輕鬆的，常常對律師使用你都懂得，只專注於後果。最可怕的是這些案件中的女童的家人很多也是只關注錢，甚至有未成年女性不報警然後被男朋友發現了，男朋友來找犯罪者要錢不給之後報警的案例。和母親為了還賭債逼迫未成年女兒多人的案例。有一部分連線人是犯罪者的姊姊或老婆女友之類的，她們連線時，不管被害人年齡大小，一貫是把對方描述成勾引很裝的女人。更有大量的東亞男性購買女性的私密物品，購買就算了，還有一個連線者因為找13歲女孩定制大尺度視頻照片然後時候不給錢才被告的案例。中國這類隔空猥褻罪2023年才開始定制，只爭對未成年人。還好有人因為對多名女性隔空猥褻判刑15年的案例。

在中國司法公開平台——中國裁判文書網上，以「性騷擾」為主要案由的公開判決書在 2019–2021 年間總計只有約 110 份左右，其中 2019 年約 39 份、2020 年約 51 份、2021 年約 20 份。這一數據遠遠低於性騷擾在社會層面可能的真實發生頻率，反映出司法公開與性騷擾案件處理之間的巨大落差。這種公開判決的稀少不是因為暴力不發生，而是因為受害者往往不願報案或進入司法程序，以及司法實踐中存在的高證據門檻與程序性困難，因此導致大部分性騷擾與性侵害行為無法在公開判決中顯現。此外，日本軍隊內部的高調性侵案件（如 Rina Gonoi 案）所揭示的約 1,325 件未報告的性騷擾與霸凌事件進一步凸顯了制度之外的沉默與隱性暴力現實。日本國防部委託的獨立專家小組調查發現，與日本自衛隊有關的性騷擾及職場欺凌等事件共計約 1,325 件，其中大部分未向官方或上級求助。這一發現是在 Rina Gonoi 提出控訴並引發全面調查後才曝光的，顯示在軍事體系內不報案與沉默文化具有結構性特徵。（註：Rina Gonoi 本人經由持續催促，促使對其性侵案重新調查，並引發軍內更廣泛的性騷擾覆蓋與處理檢討。）在韓國，儘管官方近年有法律改革並加大打擊力度，但研究指出女性遭受性侵害後約 70% 不報案，並且在 2022 年報案的性侵害案件（約 16,000 件）中，實際進入司法程序、獲得定罪或量刑的比率相對有限，顯示制度不僅不鼓勵報案，還存在執法落差與文化壓力。全球範圍內大約 35% 的女性曾遭遇過身體或性暴力，但世界各地的性暴力報案與司法處理比例遠遠低於它的實際發生率；許多研究指出，女性面對羞辱、警察懷疑、污名化與二次傷害等心理與制度障礙，使得報案率極低。因此，東亞女性面對性騷擾與性暴力的實際遭遇遠高於公開司法數據，但在司法公開與法律報告中的能見度卻極低，這種低報案與報案後低懲罰的現象本身就是一種制度性危害：它不僅讓加害者免責，也將受害者推向孤立與隱形的傷害。

众所周知，亚洲男性对于女性的审美一直是偏向恋童癖的，要身体幼小，弱，矮，脸部偏向儿童，大眼睛，瓜子脸，大脑也要单纯，简单。部分也是要求童颜巨乳，以及声音要幼态。東亞文化與媒體如何強化一種幼態/低齡化審美，在實際文化語境中接近戀童式偏好。在東亞文化語境中，男性對女性的審美偏好長期呈現出明顯的戀童化傾向（pedophilic‑type preference），這表現為對幼小、弱小、身高矮、臉部偏向兒童特徵、大眼睛、瓜子臉等標誌性幼態特徵的偏好，同時部分人群還偏好童顏巨乳、幼態嗓音、單純天真的心理特徵。這種偏好並非個別現象，而是深受文化媒介、偶像產業、動漫與小說的系統化強化影響，在社交媒體、二次元文化與流行偶像造型中被反覆複製和美化。科學研究中的幼態化（neoteny）概念提供了生物心理學支撐：男性傾向認為大眼睛、小下巴、圓臉、柔和面部線條的女性更具吸引力，這些特徵與年輕、可保護性、健康生育能力相關聯。在東亞特定文化語境下，這種生物偏好被轉化為對“看似未成熟、需要保護”的女性形象的美化和消費，進一步強化了社會性戀童式審美。調查與文化研究顯示，日本與韓國部分男性群體對女性柔弱、幼態、接近少年特徵的臉型偏好明顯高於對成熟、深刻五官的偏好，這種偏好與媒體化偶像形象、動漫角色設計、以及消費文化中的“少女化”產品相互交織。這種結構性審美模式不僅影響男性的性吸引認知，也對女性的身體自我認知、心理社會行為（如醫美整形、行為自我調整）、以及性別角色期待產生實際影響.因此，東亞男性的審美模式中，戀童式偏好是一個可觀察、系統化的現象：大眼、瓜子臉、柔弱感、幼小身型被反覆美化和商品化，並且與性吸引、社會權力結構以及文化敘事相結合，形成結構性偏好（structural preference），而非僅僅是個人偏好或跨文化普遍趨勢.東亞社會內部，不只是媒體講美，而是市場自己按“幼態特徵 = 美”進行強化消費。

在東亞，尤其是 中國與韓國醫美市場的「年輕化特徵」追求 是公開可查的市場趨勢。在中國，超過 8.5 百萬人（85% 為 30 歲以下）進行了整形手術，這反映出年輕族群對於外貌特質（如大眼、小臉、娃娃臉等）有強烈的市場需求。這背後不是簡單審美，而是年輕／幼態化特徵成為“美貌必備”。 韓國作為世界整形率最高的國家之一，其醫美消費文化高度圍繞“YOUTHFUL & DOLL‑LIKE LOOK（年輕娃娃臉）”標準，例如雙眼皮、V 型臉等手術幾乎成為許多年輕練習生與偶像的“入門美容課程”。學術與調查研究提供一些更具體的審美趨勢指標，東亞臉孔在國際與地區審美研究中，常被評為偏好**“neotenous（幼態化）”特徵**（big eyes, small face 等），這不僅與生物性信號（如青春與比較柔和的面部線條）相關，也反映了文化性強化。在東亞臉孔審美語料中，“big eyes / small face” 是重複出現的審美指標，並且在自拍與社交媒體影像反饋中顯示出高度偏好。如果把“幼態” = “看起來更像青春期早期或近似未成年者的美學特徵”，這就是一種戀童式審美偏好在實際生活與文化中被量化、消費與高頻度再現。東亞偶像產業中，低齡選秀與幼齡練習生節目引發的爭議本身就代表一種文化系統——即把“未成年或剛成年”當作美學產品。2025 年就有節目因年齡上限設在 15 歲以下、實際最小參賽者僅 9 歲而引起網絡熱議。這不是個別稿件，而是產業化運作的文化趨勢：把未成年/低齡外貌定位為偶像資源，並以“性感 + 幼態”包裝，邊界被商業規則與收視機制模糊化。除了市場與娛樂現象之外，東亞社群討論中也表現出这一点，在 Reddit 等國際論壇上，對東亞美學的描述常顯示出對“大眼、V 型臉、娃娃臉”特徵的常態化偏好，這些詞彙在年輕人自我形象與社群屏蔽指標中出現頻率極高。社群反饋的高頻出現，顯示出一種普遍的審美慣性，而非僅僅是偶像圈子裡的少數偏好。東亞文化中並非偶發性出現幼態審美；而是透過 市場（醫美）、媒體（偶像/娛樂）、社群（社交網絡/自拍文化） 共同強化一種低齡感／幼態化審美模式，這個模式在語言、圖像與商品中被不斷複製、再循環、再消費。更重要的是，這種審美趨勢在實際生活中與性語境、權力語境交織，從偶像造型設計、自拍濾鏡文化、醫美手術趨勢，到低齡選秀規則裡都能看到。在東亞社會，這種對“幼態特徵”的偏好不僅停留在抽象審美語言，而是已被制度性強化。醫美數據顯示中國有超過 850 萬 30 歲以下年輕人主動追求大眼、娃娃臉等幼態特徵，韓國整形率全球居首，偶像練習生在出道前幾乎必須通過多項年輕化美容程序來符合市場預期。這種低齡化、幼態化的審美不只是文化現象，而是與性吸引語境和商業機制緊密結合的社會結構。

All Rights Reserved© 2025 Jules Vela，Copyright, intellectual property, and all derivative rights of the Work are fully owned by Jules Vela.Without written permission from Jules Vela, any form of reproduction, reprint, quotation, excerpt, adaptation, rewriting, translation, uploading to the Internet, or use in any publications, websites, social platforms, or media channels, in whole or in part, is strictly prohibited.No individual or organization may use the content of the Work for commercial, academic, or non-commercial purposes. Unauthorized use will be considered infringement, and legal action will be pursued in full.The Work is protected under international copyright law, including but not limited to the Berne Convention, the Universal Copyright Convention, and other relevant laws and regulations.This chapter belongs to: Dark Disease; all rights are exclusively owned by Jules Vela.Any violation of this copyright statement constitutes infringement. The copyright holder reserves the right to take legal action, including but not limited to civil compensation, criminal prosecution, and administrative penalties.


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Recently, a TV drama starring Michelle Chen, Sniping the Butterfly, has been airing widely. As a result, short-video platforms are flooded with promotional clips and edited highlights, sparking massive public discussion. Beyond the playful slogans from some women — “sweet, sweet romance, I want to be a rich woman” — a far uglier phenomenon dominates the comment sections: large numbers of both men and women are publicly shaming Michelle Chen. They mock her age, criticize her appearance, and even circulate extremely misogynistic slurs, such as calling her a “Taiwan public bus,” language that openly dehumanizes women.

The irony is sharp. Michelle Chen is beautiful, wealthy, highly educated, and objectively an almost “full-score” woman by mainstream standards. Meanwhile, her ex-husband, simply because he is male, continues to receive sympathy and understanding from many women, regardless of what he has done. So why does this drama trigger such a wave of vicious abuse?

The answer is brutally simple: Sniping the Butterfly is an older-woman–younger-man romance.

The male lead comes from a rural background and lacks access to education. He first met the female lead at 17; at the time, she had just divorced and became his financial supporter. They are ten years apart, and they only truly come together much later in life.
 What truly shatters people’s emotional defenses is not the ethical structure of the story, but this fact: the female lead is rich, beautiful, and a corporate heiress — yet she is divorced and ten years older than the man. This directly strikes the most fragile nerve of East Asian patriarchy.

In real life, Michelle Chen is 42, while the male actor is 23, with an age gap of nearly 19 years. This reality intensified the backlash.
 Even though the character Cen Jin is portrayed as a super-rich woman betrayed in marriage, someone who supports the male lead through his most critical growth period, she is still attacked — solely because of her age.

What are people really angry about? Not love. They are enraged by women occupying positions of power and resources. They are disturbed by the idea that a divorced woman can still have choices. They resent that the giver, mentor, and savior is not a “proper” man. They want the woman to be younger, chosen, reshaped, and commanded by male authority.

Thus, when a 42-year-old actress — even one who looks youthful and professional — stands at the center of the frame and creates emotional tension with a 21-year-old man, she is declared “out of bounds.”
 What society truly rejects is female agency and resource dominance, not romance itself.

And what about the women who also participate in shaming Michelle Chen? Some are driven by internalized female competition and jealousy — unable to accept that a divorced, older woman could still star opposite a young, attractive man. Others are acting out structural misogyny: simply because she is a woman, she must be scrutinized, compared, and torn apart. This is routine in East Asian culture. And then there are the unconditional male-apologists: even though the young male actor lacks Michelle Chen’s fame, experience, and often struggles with awkward acting, the mere fact that he is a “decent-looking man” becomes justification enough to attack a woman.

Grandfather–granddaughter relationships are celebrated, while older-woman–younger-man relationships trigger collective discomfort among East Asian men and women. The real question is this: why, in many East Asian cultural frameworks, relationships between older men and much younger women are considered normal, romantic, even admirable — while relationships where women are older, and men are younger are framed as strange, disturbing, or disgusting?

The reason is not complicated. For many East Asian men and women, a rigid gender order must be preserved: young women must be chosen “downward” by men; women’s youth, time, bodies, and perceived competence must be monopolized and controlled by men.
 Today, we often describe this as “internalized East Asian patriarchy.” But stated plainly, it is something harsher: the failure to escape servitude and awaken female consciousness. If we examine the widespread normalization of grandfather–granddaughter dynamics, we uncover a deeply rooted structure of gendered terror.

Pan Jinlian, vilified for centuries in Chinese culture, was only in her early teens when she was trafficked and forcibly married to Wu Dalang , a man in his thirties, older, unattractive, and functionally a rapist.
 Yet Pan Jinlian was branded a “whore” and “poisonous woman” for resisting sexual violence and human trafficking. It was not until feminist consciousness began to visibly enter public discourse around 2025 that this narrative started to shift.

Historically, Empress Dowager Xiaozhuang (Bumbutai, born 1625) was married at around 12 years old to Hong Taiji, who was 32.
 Pianist Liu Shikun fathered another child at age 81 with his 44-year-old wife Sun Ying — a 37-year age gap.
 Li Ao was 48 when he entered a relationship with 18-year-old Wang Zhi-hui, making him older than her father; the age gap was 30 years.
 The same Li Ao, at 44, married the celebrated beauty Hu Yinmeng, who was 26 — an 18-year difference marked by extreme power imbalance.
 Emperor Xuanzong of Tang forcibly took and raped Yang Guifei when she was 17 and he was 51, a 34-year age gap. Even after he later sacrificed and killed her for political survival, this relationship continues to be celebrated as an eternal love story. To this day, large-scale stage productions like The Song of Everlasting Sorrow in Xi’an glorify this narrative, romanticizing sexual coercion and rape as love.

These are not isolated cases. They reveal a consistent cultural logic:
 when power belongs to men, age gaps, coercion, rape, and trafficking can all be sanitized into “romance”;
 but when women occupy the dominant position, even consensual, legal, and mutually chosen relationships are framed as obscene and transgressive.


The classical verse “一樹梨花壓海棠” (Yi Shu Li Hua Ya Hai Tang) is, at its core, an extremely violent metaphor that has been completely whitewashed by aesthetics.It compares an old, morally corrupt, and absolutely powerful man to a full tree of blooming pear blossoms,
 while reducing an eighteen-year-old woman — forced into a sexual relationship — to a single crabapple flower crushed beneath it. Within this metaphor,a white-haired man nearing eighty, involved in pedophilic desire and the buying and selling of women,
 is aestheticized as “tall,” “beautiful,” and “in full bloom.”
 The eighteen-year-old woman, forced into concubinage,
 is depicted as delicate, silent, and naturally meant to be covered.

This is not poetry. This is the aesthetic packaging of crime.The true function of this verse is to translate male depravity, sexual violence, and coercion into something visually pleasurable.

In the real story behind this poem,
 the young and beautiful concubine was not a subject of love,
 but an object — handed over like property to an eighty-year-old man as sexual possession.Her consent was irrelevant.Her will was never asked.
 Her body was simply part of a completed transaction.Yet a group of male poets recorded this event with admiration and celebration.Because within patriarchal narrative logic, a man’s satisfaction is enough to define an event as “joyous.”

Whether the woman agreed does not matter. As long as the man is pleased, the story is declared beautiful.This structure is not unique to China.
 Japan’s The Tale of Genji similarly aestheticizes incest, pedophilia, and sexual assault under the names of elegance, romance, and fate.

And even in East Asia in 2025, this logic remains fully alive.
 The cultural space is still saturated with grandfather–granddaughter romances, real cases, and online stories alike, continuously normalized, romanticized, and stripped of criminal meaning.

Yang Zhenning, born in 1922, married Weng Fan in 2004.
 Only one year after his previous wife passed away,he married a woman fifty-four years younger than himself. This relationship has long been framed in public discourse as “true love” and a “beautiful story.”

The novel Lolita goes even further, turning an elderly man’s pedophilia and sexual exploitation into so-called literary art. Thirty-eight-year-old Humbert is described as “falling in love” with twelve-year-old Dolores.

In reality, the girl who inspired the character died at seventeen from complications of childbirth, on Christmas Day, 1952.

In the film The Lover, a fifteen-year-old French girl is portrayed as being “in love” with a twenty-seven-year-old wealthy French man,
 a twelve-year age gap. The actress herself was only seventeen during filming. All these stories share one common structure: male desire is protected by narrative, while female bodies are devoured by it.

East Asia is a profoundly strange — and brutally revealing — cultural landscape.
 Within it, stories where men are old enough to be grandfathers while women are still minors
 are systematically labeled as “romantic love.”

One of the most emblematic examples is The Tale of Genji.
 The relationships between Hikaru Genji and his many “lovers”
 are overwhelmingly premised on the girls’ underage status.
 Throughout the novel, Genji commits incest five times,
 yet a female author endlessly aestheticizes this pedophilic rapist
 with elegance, delicacy, and poetic refinement.

One fact must be stated plainly:
 this is not romance; it is the literary whitewashing of pedophilia, incest, and rape.
 What makes it even more disturbing
 is that this whitewashing does not stem from ignorance,
 but from deep internalization of patriarchal order.

Modern discourse often calls these arrangements “child marriage,”
 but even that term is far too gentle.
 In reality, this is a structural tumor rooted in patriarchal supremacy.

There was once a widely circulated online case:
 a man posted a story titled roughly — 
 “How a 13-year-old woman seduced and deceived my 40-year-old uncle.”
 His purpose was not reflection,
 but to seek advice on how to punish this 13-year-old girl.

In this narrative, a minor is cast as the seducer, while a middle-aged man
 is framed as the victim.This is one of the most classic — and successful — patriarchal reversals of responsibility.

We also cannot ignore Game of Thrones. In the original text, Daenerys Targaryen is still a minor when she is married and becomes pregnant.
 Yet even audiences educated in feminism, democracy, and human rights
 can still passionately romanticize a relationship that begins with forced marriage and repeated rape. As for the glorified “Dothraki warlord,”
 He is fundamentally a mass murderer leading raids of burning, killing, and sexual violence. For him, invasion, slaughter, and rape are simply legitimate exercises of power.

That he restrains his men for Daenerys does not mean his crimes against other women and peoples can be erased, forgiven, or aestheticized.Of course, many attempt to shield this by saying, “It’s history,” “It’s fiction,” “It’s just television.” They prefer to focus on his strength, heroism, and loyalty, while deliberately ignoring the structural violence he embodies.

But whether historical or fictional,one thing is unmistakable:
readers and viewers are perfectly capable of accepting the coercion and violation of women as long as it is wrapped in a seemingly reasonable patriarchal framework. Thus, brutality becomes natural. Invasion becomes smooth. Coercion becomes romance.

What East Asia Is Really Praising When It Praises “Grandfather–Granddaughter Romance” When we praise “grandfather–granddaughter romance” in East Asia, what are we actually praising? What is being praised is never love. We are praising — That men are never required to feel shame for crimes committed against women. That men are never required to pay a price for harming women. Within this narrative system, Men may be old, ugly, violent, greedy, and shameless — But women must remain young, obedient, and silent. Any woman who attempts to disrupt this rule will be collectively labeled by East Asian men and women alike as — Disgusting, abnormal, unnatural, and shameful. This is not aesthetic preference — it is order enforcement.

Romanticization Is Not a Misreading — It Is a Function. East Asian culture has long and systematically reframed coercive, deceptive, power-imbalanced sexual relations as romance, destiny, and devotion. As of 2025, this mechanism remains fully operational. What is more chilling is that many of the people reproducing and circulating these narratives are women themselves. This is not accidental — It is the result of internalized patriarchy. This produces a direct real-world consequence: East Asian women are continuously guided into a pit that aestheticizes male wrongdoing. One after another, not because they are foolish, but because the entire culture teaches them that the pit looks like love.

The Mad Dog Metaphor: How Violence Becomes Normal. This structure can be understood through a stark metaphor: When a rabid dog biting people becomes commonplace, people stop treating the biting as abnormal. Instead, the person who resists, confronts, or strikes back at the dog, is perceived as uncomfortable, abnormal, strange, and disturbing. In patriarchal systems, the normalization of violence stigmatizes resistance itself.

Within East Asian contexts, public discourse on sexual violence is frequently reframed as rational debate, legal risk analysis, and consequence management. In this process, theviolence of the act itself is evacuated, and victims are redefined as temptations, troubles, or liabilities. When the narrative only asks “Will there be consequences?” instead of “Is this a crime?” the crime has been morally neutralized. Why All of This Feels So “Natural”？Across history, literature, media, and modern discourse, the same underlying logic persists: As long as the patriarchal framework is intact, people can smoothly accept coercion and harm against women. Thus , violence becomes reasonable, domination becomes romantic, and women’s suffering becomes expendable.

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Jules Vela 關注性別、文化與結構性不正義 揚帆於靜默深處，尋光者不孤 。✨ Writer on gender, culture, and structural injustice. Sailing beyond silence, seeking voices from the light🌌
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